The Coffers are Overflowing

I seem to be attracting free things, now that I'm not spending money.

In the last week I have been given:

• $60 cash. David found $100 in a pocket or bag somewhere in his luggage, so shared it with me. I'm a bit shocked about having so much money, so haven't even put it in my wallet. It's tucked up safe in the bedside table.
• A year's supply of olives... at least.
• A $25 ticket to the Wellington food and wine show, which I went to today.
• A handmade journal valued at $75. I won this when I signed up for a newsletter and went in a draw. 

Wow. That's quite amazing I reckon.

I also came up with a small venture to earn some pocket money. We have been asked to get personal emergency kits for under our desks at work -- a torch, water, whistle, dust masks etc. It's too much bother for most people so I offered a service to make them up for $30. $20 for the supplies, and $10 for my time to get them and put the kits together. I only got 3 orders, but that's another $30 in the bag.

On the spend side, I did buy a coffee filter for $35. It means the coffee I make at my desk is just as good as the $4 coffee I get at Custom, so I'm now doubly happy about making my own.

Enjoying this experiment. Mostly enjoying being conscious about consuming -- something that has pretty much always been on autopilot for me.

A Month of no Spending

This week marked the end of the first month of the no-spend project. Have I bought nothing but groceries for whole month? Pretty much. But not 100%. Here's how it's gone.

Clothes, shoes, body products, hair: zero spend, saved $522
It hasn't been that hard because I've stayed away from the shops. But on the day I took a walk with my colleagues and found myself in I Love Paris staring at the most beautiful dark blue suede boots I've ever seen... I really did regret this project. I really needed those boots. They would have made me so much more beautiful and interesting. I resisted, and saved $298.

That day I also found myself in a clothing store, stroking the soft corduroy jeans I've been looking for for at least 20 year. They are now in fashion and available in fabulous colours. I need to stay away from the shops. Saved $149.

My hair is looking a bit awful, but on really dodgy days a head scarf provides a great distraction from the hair. Saved $75

Lunches
$200 saved - $40 spent = $160 saved
Saving $10 a day by packing lunches.
I'm a bit gutted about spending $40 on those two other days, but I went out for a pub lunch with work mates, the cheap place was full and we ended up at the Thistle, which does really good fish and chips and a shandy, but it cost $32. Worth it for the company and laughs, but not great on the no-spend record.

I also had a cafe lunch out with colleagues and my cousin, which was $8, and delicious. Well worth it. I realise I do need an allowance for lunches out, otherwise I'll have no friends.

Eating home made soup with a slice of good toast has been a highlight of the working day. I gave up on the themed sandwiches after the first week -- way too boring. But I'm not yet bored with soup.

Coffee
$180 saved. $11.50 spent = $168.50 saved.

I bought a bag of delicious fair trade, single estate, Guatemalan coffee which has lasted three weeks, and given me all the caffeine I wanted. I have missed the ritual of buying a coffee in my keep-cup on the way to work after yoga. I still have a pang as I walk past the cafe where the friendly staff always made me feel welcome and special. There's something to be said for being a local, feeling part of a community. I can see that trading money for goods is part of keeping that community functioning, and by not participating in trading, I miss out on more than my daily coffee ritual. And they lose a customer too... You can see where this is going... not spending money is an interesting experiment, but the best possible outcome will be to learn to spend money consciously and judiciously, for the benefit of the community I want to be part of. Anyway, more on that later.

Bus fares
$40 saved. 

I've walked to work every day, but I have been using the bus to get home. My pre-paid bus card was already loaded, so that's been a bonus. I used my last fare last night, so it's show down for using the bus.

By 5.30, I've had a pretty long day and I'm getting really antsy to get home and into my Ugg boots. And of course the loving arms of my family, but for some reason, it is the Ugg boots I'm dreaming of when I power down my computer and pack up to go home from work. So it's dark, I'm a bit tired, and I am very very resistant to walking home. Even when the weather is completely fine for walking. Walking and busing take about the same time, so it's not about efficiency. I'm perfectly capable of walking, I have good shoes, and a good coat, the air is clean... so it's not about any of that. Also, I don't even like being in a bus, particularly in winter when people are sneezing germs and there's nowhere for them to go but into other people's bodies. When I used to think about that one, I'd wave down a taxi!

There is no rational reason for not walking home. I think this maybe just a case of "I DON'T WANNA!"

So will I go and top up my Snapper card? I don't know yet. I'll think hard about other people's germs if I'm tempted.

Treats, snacks and the like.
$50 saved.
No problem there. I've had a couple of chocolate and ice cream cravings mid-afternoon, but a handful of almonds usually shoos that away. But chocolate is groceries, so I might throw some in the trolley next time I'm at the supermarket.

The diagnosis: $940.50 saved in One Month. Just by being conscious.
I'm really happy with that. Chuffed, in fact.

Now I need to find a calculator or counter to stick on this website, so we can watch these savings grow... another project for the weekend, when I'm not going out and spending money.

Silence Please

Today we did a silent practice at the yoga studio. This just means that instead of talking us through the routine, the teacher does the practice with us, saying nothing. We all do the practice in silence. If you lose track of what you're doing, what's up and what's down, you just open your eyes and have a look at what's happening, or listen to the change of breath that accompanies a change of posture, then get back in the groove.

When we had the silent practice in the last two series, I was ready! I knew those sequences off by heart, so moving from one posture to the other was straightforward. Today it was a bit disorienting, only because I've been pulling my attention away from the "what's next" approach, fostering myopia. In spite of my not being able to recite the full play list, the un-assisted-by-instruction practice was lovely. It encourages us to move deliberately with our natural breathing rhythms, make adjustments based on how things feel inside... and that's yoga right there.

Silence also draws a distinction between what we know in our heads and what we know in our bodies. It's quite possible to operate independently of sequential thought -- for the body to move in one direction, then the other, naturally and unthinkingly, just because it's the right thing to do at that time. Weird, I know, but that's how it is.

I found myself not completely without chatter-thinking in today's silent practice. Is there a yoga Barbie? One that does back bends, bridge pose. I wasn't allowed to have Barbie dolls when I was a child (such big breasts being so immodest), so I asked a colleague who grew up on a steady Barbie diet. Is there a yoga Barbie?  One that can do back bends. No. There's aerobic Barbie. But when you think about it, all Barbies are essentially yoga Barbies. Back bends, front bends, side bends, bridge pose, camel, squat, whatever you want Barbie to do with that amazing body of hers, she can do it. And she does it in silence!

We have joked about getting touch with our inner Barbies, but until now I've never thought about that as getting comfortable with a pliant and silent body. But it seems likely, somehow, that silence is the secret to understanding, and the smart new manoeuvre is holding your tongue.

Doing Squat

I mean squat the yoga posture, not squat nothing. Today I did squat for the 94th time. Yes, I am counting. In spite of yesterday's musings about dropping expectations, squat remains my achilles heel, so to speak, and it's starting to do my head in.

In squat, you start with feet about a mat's width apart, you bend the knees into a squat, you keep your spine straight, chest open, shoulders back and down, head up, arms wide with the elbows helping press the knees apart. So far so good.

Then you put your heels on the floor. This doesn't seem to be a problem for people. They squat, balance there as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and then they stand up.

If you're me, the second you move your heels down, you do a slow-motion backwards somersault and get the giggles. It's less disruptive to the class if I just stay up on the balls of my feet and fake squat.

They say it might take some time till you can get your heels down. But 94 times? That can't be normal.

Here are all the possible explanations why I can't do squat:

• I haven't had children. Nope, neither have most of the class.
• I've had too many children. Nice try.
• I'm too old. Nope, older people do squat.
• I'm too small? Nope, the very small can do squat.
• After all this time I expect not to do squat? Maybe that's it.

Perhaps I'm just no good at doing squat. That would be correct. Always making a soup, digging a plot, planting a seed, washing or wiping something.

Here's an experiment. I will allow myself more time to do nothing, and see if that helps me do squat. I have a feeling it just might.

Expectations

I've been thinking about expectations this week -- how they are really just another way we make judgements -- judgments pushed into the future, another thing that takes our attention away from what we're doing right now.

Take this blog. I expected it to be easy to write about not spending money, yoga, an attempt to live more consciously. It's not easy at all. I'm a natural at writing about what's going on our there -- in the kitchen or garden, for example, but I feel shy and vulnerable writing about what's close or inside. But because of my expectation for it to be easy, it's now feeling like a failure, and consequently I've been avoiding it. Don't we all hate hanging around with failure? But aren't we our own worst enemies by courting failure relentlessly?

If I didn't have any expectations, and simply wrote one word after the other, focussing on this word, this blog post...  there would be no chance of failing. Or succeeding in my own mind. And I reckon I would be free!

I was walking down Taranaki Street to the yoga studio on Tuesday, and I realised that the current 40-day practice was feeling a lot different than the previous two. I wasn't feeling any anxiety about it, I was just going, day after day, and doing it. I was lacking expectation. And consequently I was relaxed and happy.

Let me give you a bit of history.

The first 40-day practice, I was expecting to find it super hard to get up and go to yoga at 7.15am day after day. I did find it super hard, but I suspect only because I was constantly thinking about how hard it would be. I was focussed on and anxious about getting through it. On the mat, I was anxious about the postures, which ones I "could" do, which ones I "couldn't", what was easy, what was hard, what I was getting better at, what was still really hard work. This translated into wishing the hard ones would be over and looking forward to the easy ones. I knew the sequence off by heart, in turn dreading and welcoming, depending on which one we were up to. It was all an ordeal, because I was focussed on a whole lot of expectations: finishing the practice, learning the postures, getting through the pain, getting to the end. Failure. Success.

On the recent walk down to the studio, I realised I've pulled my attention in a lot closer in the current practice. Now I just go to the studio every day, listen to the instruction and do the postures. I'm not thinking ahead either, to the next posture, to the end. If you asked me the order of postures I don't think I could tell you. I'm not thinking about them. I haven't got any expectations, positive or negative, and I'm simply doing the practice. My mind wanders a bit, but it's not locked into a pattern of expectations, good and bad, right and wrong.

This has just happened out of the blue. I'm grateful not to be working towards an end. It feels peaceful and easy, like calm, even breathing.

Starting Out

A new blog is just like a new yoga practice. Difficult to fit in for the first few days, a struggle to maintain... and hopefully something to look forward to with uncharacteristic commitment once it's engrained in daily life.

I've had a full working week back in the office, and can report the following statistics:

• went to yoga every day before work
• lost my temper once on day three
• packed my lunch every day
• saved approx $29 per day by bringing lunch, making coffee and walking to and fro
• spent $32 on lavish Friday lunch
• used three bus ticket credits on old snapper card because too tired to walk home

These days I'm sensing a strong co-relation between the yoga mat and life at large. First, you need to turn up. Second, you do the routine. Third, doing the routine can be tedious beyond belief, or wonderful and adventurous, depending on your mood and attitude. You move from one posture to the next, one task to the next. It's better if you're aware of what you're doing, the movements, responses. You can make adjustments to line things up, breath easier, go deeper, go easy.

On the mat and off, what's going on in the mind pretty much sets the climate. Struggle. Cruise. What's the state in between those two? Where you're feeling you're making progress but not hurting? That sweet spot.

The current yoga practice is focussed on the throat and expression of the truth. That's hard for me. Very hard. But today when we were singing the mantra, I heard my voice surging louder and clearer than before. That was liberating.

First Day Back

Today was my first day back at work after three weeks off, and in a way the first real test of the "no spend" project. It's a total minefield out there for spending, and I have to say I was challenged, not by an overwhelming desire to spend money, but by not following the old habits that routinely cost me money.


6.50 am, walk to yoga rather than take the bus. Save $1.50.
8.10 am, walk past Supreme coffee without stopping for a brew. Save $4.00.
8.15 am, walk past Manners Mall bus stop and walk the second leg to work. Save $1.50.
8.25 am, walk past Patisserie Bordeaux, leaving a pain au chocolat unclaimed. Save $4.20.

That's $11.20 and I'm not even awake yet!! And it's a miracle that I got to work without hailing a taxi, because I was lugging a load of groceries with me -- lunch and snack supplies.

8.40 am, make porridge for breakfast. No saving, as I rarely buy breakfast, except for the occasional pain au chocolat.
9.00 am, make a filter coffee (yes, coffee beans are groceries). Save $2.50.
10.30 am, snack on almonds and raisins. No saving. I rarely buy morning tea.
12.00 pm, eat first packed ham sandwich for lunch. Save $5.00.
12.30 pm, heat and eat homemade soup. Save $5.00.
1.00 pm, ditto on the coffee. Save $2.50.
3.00 pm, eat second packed ham sandwich and bits of pineapple for snack. Save $2.00 (normally spen on chocolate or lollies).
5.30 pm, walk home rather than catch bus. Save 1.50.

That's another $18.50 before I get home from work.

OK, I'm totally exhausted from walking everywhere, making my own snacks and coffee, spending Sunday grocery shopping and making soup, but hey, I didn't spend $29.70 today. I'm stunned by that number! And motivated to keep this going. Without getting the calculator out, I think I'm looking at $150 a week if I keep this up. Amazing.

A Free Lunch

It's hard to get a decent lunch down town for less than $10. If you order miso soup with your sushi, bank on $12. Even the cheap Chinese buffet places are getting close to a tenner for their cheapest combo. If you add a drink on to that, and the obligatory mid-afternoon chocolate bar, you're up around $16 a day.

Let's just say the additional groceries to make lunches come to $5 a day (that's just a stab in the dark, because I'm not going to get the calculator out to find out how much it costs me to make a cheese sandwich). I should save $10 a day on lunch. Which over the course of a year is roughly $2,500. That's an air fare across the world and back.

I was going to get all clever about packed lunches, but as it seems that everything else in life is leaning towards simplicity, that's where the lunches are heading too. This week I will be having a ham sandwich festival. Ham and cheese. Ham and pickle. Ham and tomato. By the end of the week I'll be as sick of ham as I was at Christmas, and will throw myself a smoked salmon and cream cheese festival for the following week.

I'm also going to make a pot of soup, freeze it in bags, and put one of those in the lunch box too. So I won't starve. And I won't be spending all evening preparing lunch.

It's just occurred to me that this proposed lunch program bears an uncanny resemblance to my yoga practice -- same thing, day in, day out. Those words would have made me cringe not long ago. Now I'm not bothered by them at all. I'm experiencing some transformation from the routine. I don't expect the lunch program will be transforming in the same way, but if it saves me the air fare from Wellington to Los Angeles and back, I'm just doing it!